Stop Calling Yourself Lazy. Your Brain Might Just Be in a Loop.
Disclaimer: Although I hold a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology (Psy.D.), I am not yet a licensed psychologist. The content shared here is only for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for professional mental health care.
Motivation may not be the issue. You might just be neurologically overwhelmed…
If you’ve ever found yourself sinking into the couch, fully aware of what you “should” be doing but just…couldn’t—keep reading.
Chances are, laziness isn’t the issue.
Your brain might just be stuck in a survival loop—doing its best to protect you, but leaving you feeling shutdown, ashamed, and overwhelmed.
Let’s unpack what’s really happening.
The Myth of Laziness: What Most People Get Wrong
Usually, the term “lazy” is used to label people experiencing:
· Executive dysfunction
· Burnout
· Depression
· Trauma responses
· Chronic nervous system dysregulation
In fact, research shows that individuals with trauma histories frequently struggle with executive functioning—things like planning, organizing, and follow-through (Philip et al., 2013). That’s not laziness. That’s your brain’s frontal lobe under siege.
The Loop: What Happens Neuropsychologically
When faced with a threat—whether it’s a looming deadline, potential failure, or interpersonal conflict—your brain may enter a freeze response. Like fight or flight, freeze is a survival state in which the logical, planning part of your brain (the prefrontal cortex, located in the frontal lobe) gets sidelined by the limbic system—the brain region wired to help you survive. Although useful in anger, the limbic system is far more concerned with survival than with productivity (Arnsten, 2009).
People with long to-do lists but activated limbic systems may find themselves saying:
· “I know what to do, I just can’t start.”
· “I stare at the task, frozen. I can’t bring myself to do it.”
· “I procrastinate a lot…then spiral into shame.”
This kind of “looping” is common in people with PTSD or complex trauma, where emotional strain disrupts executive functioning—the brain’s ability to plan, initiate, and follow through on tasks (Vasterling et al., 1998).
You’re Not Avoiding Tasks—You’re Managing Pain.
Sometimes, the pain from unresolved trauma is future-focused: anxiety, overwhelm, dread.
Other times, it’s past-focused: the trauma hijacks your system, and you get stuck in guilt, flashbacks, or painful memories.
Either way, your pain is internalized and manifests as shame, a chronic shame that drains your energy and confidence.
And your brain—doing its best to protect you—burns energy avoiding that pain. That leaves little energy left for tasks, decisions, or follow-through. When those things don’t get done, shame increases, and the loop continues:
Stress/Anxiety → Shutdown/Avoidance → Shame → Stress/Anxiety…
How to Break the Loop (Without Shaming Yourself)
Saying “just push through” rarely works.
Telling yourself to “try harder” only deepens the shame spiral.
Instead, research and clinical practice point to a different approach:
1. Name the Loop
Naming it reduces the threat. You’re not lazy, you’re dysregulated. Naming helps calm the limbic system.
2. Lower the Load
Break tasks into smaller, less intimidating pieces. A tiny step is still a step.
3. Co-Regulate
Work alongside someone safe. Try “GSD Sessions” (Get Stuff Done)—you and a friend work on your own tasks together, in person or virtually. No one’s alone in the hard stuff. *Note: See Jamie’s blog about Scheduled, Therapeutic GSD Sessions.
4. Use Safety Cues
Calm your nervous system: Breathe deeply. Eat brain foods (e.g., fruits, nuts). Sip water. Softly say, “I’m okay. I’m safe.” These strategies activate the parasympathetic nervous system—your body’s natural calming system.
5. Start Small, Let It Snowball
Do an easy task first. Then another. Motivation often follows movement. Let the momentum build—and rest when it pauses. The snowball will roll again.
According to rehabilitation neuropsychologists (who help stroke survivors and others reintegrate into daily life), breaking these “loops” isn’t about willpower. It’s about strategy—retraining your brain through repetition and support (Whyte & Hart, 2003).
You’re Not Broken. You’re Adapted.
Your brain isn’t the enemy—it’s been protecting you the best way it knows how. Now, it’s time to teach it new ways to respond.
You’re not lazy. You’re likely overwhelmed, burnt out, or stuck in a neurological loop.
Therapy—especially trauma-informed therapy—can help you get out.
Feeling Stuck? It Doesn’t Have to Stay That Way.
At The Amitrano Center for Relational Healing, we combine science-backed tools with deep compassion and a brain-based understanding. Let’s work with your brain, not against it.
We’ll help you get out of the loop—and back to yourself.
References
Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signaling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10, 410–422.
Philip, N. S., Sweet, L. H., Tyrka, A. R., Price, L. H., Bloom, R. F., Carpenter, S. L., & Carpenter, L. L. (2013). Decreased default network connectivity is associated with early life stress in medication-free healthy adults. European Neuropsychopharmacology, 23(1), 24-32. PMID: 22963826
Vasterling, J. J., Brailey, K., Constans, J. I., & Sutker, P. B. (1998). Attention and memory dysfunction in posttraumatic stress disorder. Neuropsychology, 12(1), 125–133.
Whyte, J., & Hart, T. (2003). It’s more than “laziness”: Motivation deficits after brain injury. Neurorehabilitation and Neural Repair, 17(2), 115–126.
